Joining a TableTop Role-Playing Game (TTRPG) is a significant investment of time, energy and personal exploration. Never underestimate the value open communication and listening skills can have in creating a happy, healthy environment at your Table!
Clear Communication
From the first time you talk with everyone at the Table building your campaign, make clear, respectful communication a goal. Not just between each other as players (above-table), but as characters (in-game) and also as actual people (IRL/out-of-game).
Every group will have interpersonal issues. Human beings make mistakes, have trouble trusting, don’t always make the best choices or forget to adequately consider consequences before we act.
Open communication is critical to building the trust every campaign relies on to keep a table together long enough to bond and achieve their goals.
Trusting your fellow gamers deepens shared ownership for the world you are creating, which can make the experience more satisfying for everyone.
Thinking about how you listen and communicate can help.
Communication Skills
Trust and open, honest communication can strengthen players’ investment in their Gaming Table. Communicating clearly helps everyone feel they have equal choice and voice in how the adventure unfolds. One of the simplest and best ways to communicate is to adopt Active Listening.
Active Listening
Making decisions that work for the whole Table will encourage collaboration, and avoid disappointments that can lead to feelings of hurt and anger. ‘Active Listening’ helps by filtering what you hear through empathy, understanding and a genuine desire to help someone.
Here are three simple steps to try:
1. Listen for Meaning: what people say and how they say it.
Our first response to something we don’t understand can too often be to correct, or qualify, or outright disagree. This just builds walls higher. Instead, put yourself in the position of the speaker and ask questions that help you understand them better.
2. Respond to Feelings, not facts, using ‘I’ statements (‘I feel’, ‘I heard’).
If someone is sharing their feelings or asking for a change, they can feel very vulnerable.
When you ask questions, don’t focus on them ( “Are you sure that’s what you want?”). Instead, focus on yourself: (“I’m not sure I understand. Tell me more?”).
3. Listen for Cues: tone, pauses, emotions can help you understand.
Long pauses, change in pacing of speech,, silences and angry or hurt tones are clear indicators your Table isn’t working for everyone. Taking a moment to check in with others is never a waste of time. Even if someone is not feeling distressed, having others check in on them will only make them feel more confident to express themselves when they need to.
We Before Me
Science Fiction Author Spider Robinson once wrote ‘Shared pain is lessened. Shared joy increased.’ Helping others feel safe and included won’t reduce a player’s enjoyment, it will only increase the depth of the game and lead to new possibilities for everyone.
When everyone at the Table feels confident to express what they really want from a game, that’s when the magic happens.
Happy Gaming!